If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
