I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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