I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
