my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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