I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
