remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
