do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
