thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
