I CAN MOONWALK!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
