And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
