Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
