Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
