we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
