we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
