You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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