Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
