i need an iv and a liver transplant
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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