I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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