I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
