Quick, to the slutcave!
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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