Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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