dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
