She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
