I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
