Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
