I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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