in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
