I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
