Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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