you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
