And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
