So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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