It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
