Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize