your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
True strength comes from lack of pants
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize