hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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