I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
