they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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