Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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