Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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