Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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