she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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