Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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