Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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