the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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