You really coming over, don't trick.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
