if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
