so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
