Duck Duck Cougar?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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