I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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