Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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