I think my vagina is haunted
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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